Urban Castelino: Though Physically Challenged could carry on in life with strong family support

By Dr. Eugene DSouza, Moodubelle
Bellevision Media Network

Moodubelle, 23 January 2011: One cannot imagine the pain and trauma that families undergo when they find  one of their beloved child is afflicted with any kind of physical disability such as loss of  eyesight or speech and hearing  or inability  to stand and walk as in the case of polio.  The thought  that the child will be forever dependent on others plunges the  parents  in unending anxiety and uncertainty. When a perfectly healthy child falls victim to unforeseen disease such as polio, and the child loses its capacity to either stand or walk, one cannot explain the shock and helplessness that the entire family undergoes for many more years before coming to terms with the condition of their beloved child.  This what exactly happened fifty years ago to a young boy of four years-Urban who has been my neighbor. At that time I was just 12 years old and since then I had seen how  Urban  himself and his entire family faced the situation. 

 

Urban being the last child among the siblings, every member of the family stood like a solid rock and supported him as he grew up  and thus enabled him to live a life of respect and dignity. This is the story of Urban Castelino, though physically challenged could carry on in life with strong family support.

 

 

Born on 20th March 1954 as the last among eight children of late Raymond Castelino and Eveline Noronha, Urban was the darling of the family. Incidentally, Urban’s eldest sister, Mary had given birth to her eldest son, Alfred just two days prior to the birth of Urban and he had the motherly care from both his mother and eldest sister.

 

With fair complexion and childish pranks, Urban had all the love and care from all his elder siblings-Xavier, Mary, Casmir, Hilda, Denis (who became priest later), Thomas and Pricilla. For four years, Urban was the centre of the family. Being an agricultural family, after a day’s hard work it had the pleasure of being entertained by  Urban by his childish talk, innocent remarks and playfulness.

 

 

The happy days of the Castelino family were cut short when at the age of four, Urban became a victim of the dreaded polio. A kind of unexplainable fever gripped the young boy and the family could not realize its seriousness. As in the case of any other fever or disease, Urban’s parents did their best to treat him with native medicine. The fever persisted and after few days it was found to the utter shock of the family that Urban was unable either to stand or walk. In spite of massaging the legs with different types of oil and giving him verities of medicines could not put back Urban on his feet. His parents took him to different doctors at different places. When nothing mundane worked, they even took him to various pilgrim centers hoping for a miracle, but nothing worked. Realizing the fact that Urban would not be able to walk again throughout his life, a pal of gloom and anxiety covered the family.

 

In spite of not being able to walk, Urban never confined himself to the corner of the house. He began to move around and outside the house by using his feet and hands. He never ceased to play with his peers. At that time the neighbourhood children would meet at Urban’s house and play with him never allowing him to feel that he was handicapped or immobile. However, the sad part of it was that while other children could go to school, Urban was deprived of that opportunity about which he used to feel quite miserable.

 

Joseph Cornelio, Urban’s eldest sister Mary’s husband a resident of  Kukkunje, Kallianpur was a teacher in a nearby government school. On the initiative of Mary, Urban went to Kallianpur and was admitted to the same school where Joseph  was teaching. Every day, Joseph  would take Urban to school on his cycle and bring him back after the school. Incidentally, with the promotion of Urban to the next class Joseph would also get himself upgraded so that he could pay personal attention to Urban in the succeeding classes as the class-teacher.  As Urban was related to Joseph Master, the students never used to trouble Urban though it was a tendency among the normal children at that time to tease handicapped children as the society in general was not quite sensitized to the plight of such unfortunate individuals.

 

While going to school at Kallianpur, Urban gathered enough confidence and tried to walk with the help of two sticks in two hands for support.  Gradually, Urban began to go to school by himself along with the children of Mary and Joseph-Alfred, Richard, Gracy and Jacinta. With the passage of time, Richard and Urban became very good friends as they could understand each other’s interests and would discuss various topics in which both had some knowledge and insight.

 

When everything seemed to be going on normally, the Cornelio family underwent a phase of difficult times. Urban’s eldest sister Mary underwent heart surgery. While Mary was gradually recovering another blow shattered the family as Joseph suffered cardiac arrest and passed away. As the family was undergoing the crisis, the eldest son of Mary, Alfred himself came to Belle to continue his education and Gracy had to leave school so that she could take care of her ailing mother. Thus, just after the fifth standard, destiny deprived Urban of the opportunity of continuing education and he had to return home.

 

Meanwhile, Br. Denis, the elder brother of Urban who had joined St. Joseph’s Seminary at Jeppu, Mangalore was in the final year of his training for the priesthood. He found out that at Fr. Muller’s Hospital at Kankanady there was a centre for  physically challenged young persons to be trained  in some kind of gainful vocation  and also a provision for their boarding and lodging. Br. Denis took this opportunity and admitted Urban to this centre. As Kankanady was closer to Jeppu, Br. Denis would visit Urban in the evenings and spend some time with him and other physically challenged young boys. Urban  chose the vocation of tailoring and within five months  he picked up this trade and was quite efficient in his work.  When Br. Denis was ordained six months later, it is said that Urban stitched new clothes to most of the family members with the help of hand driven sewing machine.

 

Having learnt the trade of tailoring, Urban required some kind of break. At that time two other elder brothers of Urban-Xavier and Casmir who were taxi drivers in Mumbai were staying in the room (Kotri) of  Vincent Quadros of Baggedikal near Katapadi, who had been an expert  tailor in Mumbai.  With a hope that Urban could get additional training in tailoring with Vincent Quadros, Xavier and Casmir took him to Mumbai and under the careful guidance of Vincent Urban acquired further training with the help of electrically driven sewing machine.  However, Urban found life in Mumbai quite difficult as the room was quite small and congested and he had to use the common sanitary block which he found very inconvenient given the nature of his handicap.

 

 

Urban returned  to his native village Belle as he showed disinclination to continue to stay and make a career in Mumbai due to his condition. However, due to lack of electricity in the village at that time, he could not work on electric sewing machine and once again Urban was facing a bleak future.  Urban was keen  to put to good use his tailoring experience and earn his own livelihood rather than depend on his brothers. As he was pondering over his future plans  Urban  got an opportunity to move to Shivamogga where his another elder sister Hilda and her husband Albert Quadros who was working in the Police department were stationed.  As the police quarters were in the middle of the city, Urban could get a number of customers. Besides, with the influence of Albert Quadros, Urban got contract to stitch uniforms of the police personnel.  Besides, having an opportunity to work, Urban also got the company of  Helen, Ivan, Godwin, Jyothi and Rajan, the children of Hilda and Albert.

 

Being in the Police Department,  Albert used to get frequent transfers which caused considerable inconvenience to Urban. At that time Fr. Denis was appointed the parish priest of Nakre near Karkala. Realizing the difficulties that Urban was facing, Fr. Denis decided to bring him to Nakre where he planned to start a tailoring class which Urban could manage along with his normal tailoring activities. As there were no other parish associations at that time, the tailoring class of Urban appropriately named Nirmala Tailoring School became handy as a number of  young girls and even newly married women who had to give up education enrolled themselves in  this class. Within short period Urban proved to be a diligent and effective ‘Tailor Master’.

 

Urban continued his tailoring school in Nakre for about three years by which time, Fr. Denis was transferred as the parish priest of Kalmady near Udupi. Urban too moved with his electric machine to Kalmady. However,  due to lack of  encouraging response from the residents of Kalmady  as compared to Nakre, Urban  soon became disillusioned and expressed his desire to go back home and stay with his eldest brother Xavier who had settled down in Belle after working in Mumbai.

 

After returning from Kalmady to Belle, Urban  carried on his tailoring vocation from home. As he was an expert tailor, he had a number of customers. He even used to teach those young people who wanted to learn tailoring. He continued his trade for some time until  he got a minor stroke due to which he partially lost his eyesight and memory power. Besides, the erratic power supply also hampered his work.  These problems prompted Urban to give up serious tailoring work. However, he continued stitching  clothes for the family members whenever he felt well.

 

Urban was not a person who would sit quietly and do nothing and wail on his misfortune. He found ways to  keep himself busy and occupied.  As the family has been cultivating jasmine(mogra) flowers, Urban developed the technique of tying the flowers and became quite an expert.  He even began to cultivate his own jasmine garden with around fifty plants. In the evening he would go to his  jasmine garden and work there for about one to two hours depending the nature of work such as clearing weeds from the flower beds, adding manure to these plants or watering them with the help of a pipe.  Urban says that he finds peace and happiness working in the jasmine garden.

 

 

As an integral part of the family of his eldest brother, late Xavier Castelino, Urban never found himself deprived of love or care. He has been a favourite uncle (mama or Ubbappu) to his brothers’ and sisters’ children who are grown up and have their own families. Being jovial throughout his life, Urban has been a very good story teller who would keep his young nephews and nieces busy by narrating them stories about tigers and other animals. There used to be scramble among the nephews and nieces  to be closer to ‘Ubbappu’ whenever  the extended family would meet during any family function or annual parish feast.

 

Urban’s sister-in-law, Lilly and all her sons-Melvyn,  Pravin, Arun, Alwyn and Roshan and their sister Jacqueline and their families as well as Urban’s elder brother- Casmir, his wife Nathalia and their sons Joy Prakash and Viajay Vikas and their families have great respect and affection towards Urban.  Pravin and Roshan being in native place and run their own business ‘Best Caterers’ and ‘Arun Sounds’  take good care of Urban and fulfill his needs and requirements. Pravin, though busy managing the catering business, has been a strong support to Urban.  With his assistance Urban has been getting ‘Handicap Pension’ from the Karnataka State Government. Urban has been provided with calipers with which he manages to walk. Pravin’s daughter-Alisha and Roshan’s son-Alrick keep Urban busy with their antics and play. Whenever, Urban would go to the jasmine garden, both of them would follow him and play around.  Now it is the turn of Alisha and Alrick to pester ‘Urban aab’ to tell them stories.

 

 

As he nears 57 years of his life, Urban does not have any ill feeling about his physical condition and has accepted everything in his stride. He spends time doing household chores whichever he can do, reading news-paper, watching television, especially news, working in the jasmine garden, tying flowers in the morning and even stitching whenever he can.  According to Pravin, Urban has some technical knowledge and he got the sprinklers fitted to water the coconut palms.

 

Through the journey of life of Urban one can see clearly the determination of Urban to carry on in life in spite of his physical disabilities and the strong support of the entire immediate and extended family to see to it that Urban would not be left behind in the struggle to have a dignified, meaningful and gainful existence. The Castelino and the extended family has shown that with proper guidance and support even if unfortunately someone in the family becomes an victim of disability, he or she can carryon in life.

 

(I sincerely thank Fr. Denis Castelino and Pravin Castelino for providing the input)