Thrashed for stealing, son retaliates with suicide attempt

Mumbai Mirror

Mumbai, 16 March 2011:  This is one of the four case studies shared by Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty where communication between parents, children and those in authority played a key role in averting a tragedy as it happened with the 11-year-old who killed self. Yesterday (15 March 20110),  Mumbai Mirror had carried the report of 11-year-old Sayoni Chatterjee, who committed suicide after her mother discovered her feelings for a classmate and spoke to her teachers about it.

 

Eminent psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty, has seen a surge of similar incidents in recent years, where he has been called in to help a child pull back from the brink of no return.

 

This is the story of a 12-year-old boy who was brought to my clinic by his mother. “He has destroyed our peace,” screamed the mother, while the boy sat with his head down.

The mother lifted her son’s left hand and showed me cuts made by a knife. “He did this because his father thrashed him for stealing Rs 500,” she cried. I asked her to wait outside and put my arm around the child.

With tears in his eyes, the boy sat quietly for the next 30 minutes. My attempts at making a conversation failed.

I thanked the child for coming and let the mother talk. “My husband blames me for all the bad things at home.

This boy picked up the money. After two days we found Rs 148 in one of his text books. He lied to us and till he was thrashed he didn’t open his mouth.

My husband says I have spoilt him,” she wept. I requested her to remain calm and called the dad. He was curt, “Tell him to be honest. I slog all day for him and if he repeats it again I’ll throw him out.”

The parents refused to be hospitable to the boy who was suicidal and angry. I was scared to send him home though I felt his suicidal intent was not very serious. I clasped his hands, looked into his eyes and said gently, “Come again tomorrow.” I told his mother in his presence, “There is nothing like a lie in my dictionary. Lie is truth postponed, suspended, delayed. He was just scared.”

I arranged for a meeting with the boy at a coffee shop. An informal setting always helps. He walked in with a bright shirt and a smile, accompanied by his tense dad. I asked his dad to leave us alone for an hour.

After we ordered a cooler, the child relaxed. I simply blurted, “The money…in your book.” He surprised me by saying, “I’ll tell you all, but don’t tell my dad.”

And this is what he said: “I took Rs 500 from dad’s wallet as I wanted to treat my friends. They treat me all the time and I could never do the same.

We had burgers and soft drinks. I was happy. I never felt that I had stolen. I thought it’s my dad’s money and I’ll tell him sometime. But I was caught. Dad hammered me. I was very angry and wanted to teach him a lesson. I wanted to die but was scared. I wanted to share with my friend but was ashamed. My dad is always angry. He does not rest, has no time to sleep.” And he went on.

I saw no signs of any serious mental illness either. On his way out he promised me he will not harm himself.

A week later both parents met me and seemed very receptive. The father shared details of his upbringing and his work place. The mother wanted to know why her son stole.

I asked them what their learning was from the whole experience. They looked at each other and smiled.

As they left I reassured the parents that the child will do well and helped them to get some more sleep. I found out that the dad had consulted an astrologer who had said that his son will trouble them till the age of 15. “Do you believe in astrology?” The father asked me. I smiled and said, “I believe in you more than the astrologer.”