H’bad : Single mothers fight all odds to lead a life of dignity

TNN

HYDERABAD, 26 Jun, 2013 : It has been barely nine months since SaraswatiPawar, 28, lost her husband to a heart attack and already the hassles of a widowed life are beginning to daunt her as she supports her seven-year-old daughter.

 

"My in-laws will not let me stay with them and my parents are no more. I am learning to cope with life on my own in Amberpet and also look after my daughter," rued Saraswati, who is among several working single moms, fighting against odds to raise their children.

City NGOs and counsellors say that Hyderabad is seeing an increasing number of single mothers in the city, who like Saraswati, are fighting through a hostile system and trying to grapple with hurdles every day and seeking both emotional and financial help from them.

With the city lacking a solid support group for them, single mothers are invariably found seeking help from NGOs dealing with women’s issues.

In contrast to the single mother in the United Kingdom who is entitled to a range of benefits such as loans, grants and employment support from the government, the Indian single mother is left in the lurch to fend for herself and her child.

Another common issue is of name discrepancy in cases where women continue to retain their marital surname. Neha Manoj was given a tough time by officials at the passport office who insisted that her documents must have her maiden surname since she was divorced.

"I was told that the procedure will be processed only after my documents showed my maiden surname. But then my son’s and my surnames were different, which created another set of issues," she said.

The taboo associated with a divorcee parent continues to exist. Ranjeetha S, 35, found it difficult to hint to her son’s teachers why his father was not present during school meetings at a time when the couple was going through a separation. "I was already struggling to cope with things. On top of that, teachers expected both parents to sign on forms, books and be present at parent-teacher meetings," she said.

"Often, women consider giving up their children fearing that they will not be able to provide for them. However, after counselling, these women emerge strong and decide to battle it out," said A Venkateshwarlu, head project manager of NGO Divya Disha.

But there has also been an increasing trend of single women adopting children is an example of the inner strength of these women, who are ready to cope with the everyday battles ahead. "Over the past few years, many young women in the city are seeking to adopt. These are educated, working women of today who are not dependent on a man to fulfill her maternal desires," said Shyama Sundari of Andhra Pradesh adoption centre.